Can I?

With everything going the way that it’s been lately, I have a challenge for myself (among the long, long list of challenges for myself at the moment):  I want to write something introspective about myself every day until the year is out.

I don’t know if this is possible, or if this will necessarily help with the things I’m trying to work on for myself.  However, I have two journals, journals I purchased ages ago, that made me think that perhaps now is the time to work on them.  They are called “40 Days and 40 Nights: Taking Time Out For Self-Discovery” and “Soul Catcher: a journal to help you become who you really are”.  These might sound super cheesy to you, but to an 18 year old me these sounded necessary.

The problem then was that I could never finish them, like so many things now.  I understand that my ADD and my depression are linked to my inability to follow through on many things, and that the way I was raised (raising myself and my brothers beginning at age 8) make it difficult for me to understand regular schedules and a life that isn’t constantly in some form of chaos.  In fact, I seem unable (even though I’m entirely willing and desperate to do so) to organize my life, however-much I try lately.  It always devolves into that organized-chaos, and I hate it.  So perhaps if I can force myself to do this one thing every single day, then maybe, just maybe, it will start me on my road to the kind of life I want to be living.  A lady can hope, can’t she?

So I’m making this promise publicly (oh gods) to do one thing every single day that aids in my own self-discovery to get to that place that I know I want to go.  Some I will share with you all, and some I will password protect for my own mental well-being.  However, every single day… I will hold myself accountable to at least do this one thing.  I can do this.

If you’ve made it this far, thank you so much for reading my introspective thoughts.  Have a lovely day!


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