…before I could figure out the crush was mutual.
Sometimes we’re alone together, and she does something so sweet – so cute and unexpected – that I think, “I think I’m in there… she likes me, too.”
Then we’re apart for a few days, I don’t hear back from her, and I tell myself, “Obviously, she’s just not that into you.”
But then we’re alone together again, and…
I have warring feelings about crushes. On the one hand, I love beginnings. They’re so wonderful to me that they’re worth dragging out. I don’t want to kiss you straight away, if I’m interested in you. First, I want to brush against you ‘by accident,’ maybe an affectionate and teasing poke when you say something to tease me, or cuddling up against you just to see if you’ll let me. The kiss comes later… after the butterflies have settled down a bit under the above circumstances.
On the other hand, crushes give you expectations, desires, and hopes about a whole other person, things which we have no right to feel about someone not ourselves. It’s confusing, it’s painful. It’s the possibility of something great resting between two people, and that is a horrible thing.