On Assumed Intimacy & Other Relationship Lies

I’m beginning to think that all my relationships (barring those with some family members and one or two friends) have been with people who see some idealized version of me, and assume that’s the person with whom they’re in a relationship.  They don’t see or want to see the real me, and when they can no longer ignore her that’s when they’re disappointed or annoyed.  These individuals try to force me into being someone I’m not, becoming surprised and/or angry when I refuse to bow down to their mental image of ‘the perfect (girl)friend.’

To add to this, in this new city in which I now live the trend is to assume an unearned level of intimacy; a trend that I cannot understand.  Why would anyone want to pretend with another person, who has not yet actually proven they can be trustworthy, that they have shared experiences that have not been shared?  It makes no sense to me.  You cannot tell someone that the two of you ‘are really close’ when all you’ve done is share a few weeks’ worth of conversations.  That is not intimacy, it is a budding friendship – relationship, if you will.  Even sex is not enough to achieve intimacy, though it is mistakenly believed to be enough by many people.

Assuming that you’re at a greater level of intimacy with someone with whom you’re not is a shortcut that can only be pretended.  With all this fabrication going on how can anyone maintain a relationship?

This is the real reason why marriages fail – constant assumptions, miscommunications, fantasizing, and expectations of instantaneous fixes to any problems.  Until people can accept other people for who they really are this institution will continue to fall and these relationships will continue to fail.  I, for one, am fed to bursting with the idea that someone can just tell me how intimate we have become, or how I should behave in our relationship.  Your fantasies hold no sway over my mind or my actions.

Thanks for reading my relationship rant, and have a lovely day.

Random Thoughts: Star Trek

You know what’s sad to me? The fact that a bunch of new Star Trek fans out there never watched TOS, TNG, or even DS9. Why is that sad? Because when you watch the new movies, the movies that focus more on action and suspense than on story-telling, character-building, and the things that made Star Trek what it is today, you miss out on something. You miss out on what it means to ‘boldly go where no one has gone before’ because that’s not what’s happening. The new movies claim to be starting a new story line, but what they’re actually doing is poorly recycling old ones.

I want it to do what it claimed to do at the very start. Boldly go where no one in the franchise has gone before, imagine new things, make use of their fresh start. Otherwise, all you’re doing is pissing where someone has been before, and we don’t need any more territory battles this century, if you know what I mean.

All About the ‘Christmas’ Tree

All About the ‘Christmas’ Tree

The Prophet Jeremiah condemned as Pagan the ancient Middle Eastern practice of cutting down trees, bringing them into the home and decorating them. Of course, these were not really Christmas trees, because Jesus was not born until centuries later, and the use of Christmas trees was not introduced for many centuries after his birth. Apparently, in Jeremiah’s time the “heathen” would cut down trees, carve or decorate them in the form of a god or goddess, and overlay it with precious metals. Some Christians currently feel that this Pagan practice was similar enough to our present use of Christmas trees that this passage from Jeremiah can be used to condemn both:

Jeremiah 10:2-4: “Thus saith the LORD, Learn not the way of the heathen, and be not dismayed at the signs of heaven; for the heathen are dismayed at them. For the customs of the people are vain: for one cutteth a tree out of the forest, the work of the hands of the workman, with the axe. They deck it with silver and with gold; they fasten it with nails and with hammers, that it move not.” (King James Version).

How the Religious Right Stole Christmas

How the Religious Right Stole Christmas

Every holiday season, Christian conservatives moan about a “war on Christmas.” Not surprisingly, this is tied to massive fundraising campaigns.

This is hilarious considering the Christians stole this holiday from the Pagans to begin with.  😉